I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize