I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
