no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
