Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
