There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
