I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
