my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
