You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
