I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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