you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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