he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
