Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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