Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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