My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
She tied me up with her honor cords...
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
