Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize