so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
