I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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