You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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