I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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