Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I need a burrito and a hug.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
