Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
not ubering you a puppy
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
