The maid of honor just puked.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
