she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
