Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I'm having to shit out rocks
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
