these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
