I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
