FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
