I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize