There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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