dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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