I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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