We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Randomize
