Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
