So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize