i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize