You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
The adults are the big ones right?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
