i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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