Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
They have beer where we have blood.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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