i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
