"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
