tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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