just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
