what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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