I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
