how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
