So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
