Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
