why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
cat food counts as protein by the way
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
