Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
