why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
