Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
