How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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