I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I think my fart just growled at me.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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