Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
where are you?
Hypothermia
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize