I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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