Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
