He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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