You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
