She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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