Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize