So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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