woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
