Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
