Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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