clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
