Are we in a gay sports bar?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
