Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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