I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
