please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
