There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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