Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
